I am counting down the days until I leave for camp. I have no doubt that the next two months of my life will be stressful, bug-filled, and messy :) But I think that I would have it no other way. I love that I don't know quite what to expect. This is new for me, of course. I am normally the type of person that wants to plan things out in advance and write lists of the million things that must be completed. But slowly, God is showing me a new side of myself. I've always loved going on adventures, and I see now that many are ones you can't plan for.
Since being home, I have attempted to take each of my siblings on "dates" to spend time visiting and catching up with them. Caleb and I went to a movie, and Molly and I have gone on several adventures since my arrival. But today was my day with Addie. We went out shopping, mostly because I figured we should bond over something she actually enjoys (I, however, took one for the team as I dislike shopping vehemently)! After a yummy lunch, she took me to a wonderful thrift shop that had the power to change my hatred of shopping to at least a vague appreciation. If I'm going to shop, I like thrift shopping. To me, there is nothing like looking at old things and dreaming up the stories behind them. I mean, really, how did they get here? To what neck did that vintage cameo necklace belong? How many crayons have scribbled over the carved oak table in their pursuit of preschool art projects and research papers? I like looking at these things so much better than the pristine new things in the department stores because they have character, a past. I loved spending time with my sister, too. It was a good reminder that we can disagree on so many things, but we still love spending time with each other. Someone once told me that love is authentic when we have something to lose. I think today was a good reminder of that. I love Addie, and even though we are polar opposites, her friendship is worth risking disagreement or misunderstanding between both of us.
Between graduating and being separated from so many people I love, I am learning. God is showing me how to pray ceaselessly. How to love authentically. How to hope unfailingly. How to trust unreservedly. I think it will be worth the risk :)
"Though my edges may be rough and I may never feel like quite enough,
And it may not seem like very much, but I'm yours..."
Saturday, June 5, 2010
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